Addicted to productivity and a really embarassing moment

My sleeping schedule was fucked up because of some weird insomnia bout that has lasted the last couple of weeks... at least I've used the past few nights to work towards some of my goals, like my R and AE courses.

But the insomnia of course had some effects, and I feel I've haven't been able to focus a lot, to the point I'm probably not masking my neurodivergences enough to function. Welp, in short, I mistakenly tore up my paycheck at the bank. It was a really small tear, but enough for the bank to not want to redeem it. I was at the verge of an anxiety attack, not because of the possibility of not all my money of the month, but because I felt like a complete fool.

I constantly feel like I'm inadequate as a college professor, and as a person in general.

I went to my uni's administrative office, thinking I was gonna look like some dumbass... turns out I'm not the first person who tears their paycheck. The administration person just yelled at her boss, in the other side of the office "BOOOSSSS, SHE TORE HER PAYCHECK", and they explained to me what I had to do. Kinda relieved tbh. The process to ask for a replacement check was very smooth, and turns out that check wasn't the complete payment for the month, so I have some income anyway.

This day was a win.