My own YT algorithm roasted me (I think for good tho).

All of past week I was free and I used the time for resting and learning (been focusing on R and AE).

Anyone who knows me is aware of how I hop between interests and pursuits. One week I'll have one goal and the next one said goal was scrapped like 3 times already. This is how it goes when you are neurospicy like me.

And besides the different impacts it has on my life, there's one thing no one (myself included) thinks about: my social media feeds are whack, first you see a recipe video and then some gay anime jokes followed by Excel tutorials and niche reviews.

It all got to the point, last night, YT started to recommend videos like "how to handle many hobbies", "hobbies and ADHD", and "when you don't know what to do with your life".

Fuck this shit. I was personally attacked by a fucking algorithm.

The worse part is, I watched some of those videos... and they actually proven to be a bit useful. One of those videos commented about the valley of despair in learning curves.


I'm not knew to this concept at all. But it was interesting to see my placement in the curve again. I think, with video editing, I'm starting to leave the valley. I'm realizing, while I've abandoned it for periods, it probably is the hobby I feel the more "I know what I don't know so I'll learn it", while other hobbies are in a way more beginner stage.

The videos advice viewers to be honest and realistic about our expectations and how necessary the hobbies and intellectual pursuits are for our lives and goals. R is something I'm learning for my career, so it has to stay. Video editing/motion graphics and drawing/painting are hobbies I engage with because I like creating visual stuff. And playing videogames is a hobby that helps me to socialize and unwind. With this in mind, I think video editing should be my "main" hobby because I'm more knowledgeable about it.

Ofc, that doesn't mean I'll fully abandon painting even if I (currently) suck. I've seen slow improvement. I enjoy taking the lessons. I'm allowed (we all are!) to make and share poorly made artwork. It's ok if I'm not good with proportions nor perspective. There's a whole art movement about that. Also, I already spent money on a wide arrange of supplies. And it's my only hobby my parents understand.

I need to start scheduling time to pursue my career growth, my passions, my interests, and also the damn exercise I should be doing so leukemia has a bit of a harder time killing me.

It isn't easy, but being this honest has helped me to "drop" (shelving, burying a bit deep in my priority list) other past pursuits (learning Mandarin Chinese and Italian, learning web design, UX/UI design and front-end development, linocutting) that probably don't immediate serve me, my goals nor my wellbeing.

Let's see if I don't change my mind next week lmfao.